Why did I smoke? Why did I quit? Can I make it?

I’m not entirely sure when I quit nicotine entirely. As a rule, I’ve always put a lot of pressure on myself at my ‘quit date’, and so this time, as I tapered, I purposely set no goals further away than 5 minutes into the future. If I could meet that goal – and most of the time I did – then I could relax until the next craving and next goal showed up.

I estimate my approximate no-patch, no-gum, no-snus date as about 2 weeks after my last cigarette & occurring on as June 20, 2012. If we say that nicotine takes 3 days to leave your body, that means that nicotine has been out of my system for 3 weeks. Wow!

I’ve learned a lot about my smoking habits in the last few weeks. For example –

  • I smoked to calm my nerves. I knew this, but it was interesting how often *that* was my breaking point when it came to quitting smoking. I made sure to taper down slowly during a period when I wasn’t stressed.
  • I smoked during transition – literally either just after I left a building or just before I entered one, I would smoke a cigarette! If I were to be going from one place to another, I lit a cigarette.
  • I smoked to cover social anxiety/have something to do in public. I definitely noticed that this is when I wanted a cigarette the most! Waiting for my train and trying not to make eye contact with people, I certainly wished I could light me up that cigarette.
  • I smoked when I drank. Definitely became an excuse to light a cigarette during “quit times.”
  • I smoked because I smoked. I smoked because I bought cigarettes, had them around me, and was addicted to the nicotine & other additives in them.

I don’t miss it much. For example, I almost never miss my after meal cigarette any longer, which I thought I would crave heavily, and only occasionally do I wish I had a cigarette before I walked into work. In public waiting areas, I’ll read or write in my journal.

How do I calm my nerves? I’m not sure (breathing exercises?)- but I don’t crave a cigarette! I am not a smoker, and it’s awesome.

Part of my issue with quitting smoking was trying to understand why I smoked and why I wanted to quit. The above list of reasons – those were all my excuses for smoking, and until I admitted that I could finish a meal, deal with stress, walk from my front door to the bottom of the stairwell without lighting a cigarette, I wasn’t going to give credit to the reason why I wanted & needed to quit:

  • Not only is smoking bad for your health, but it is expensive.

I understood that not only was I buying cancer at a ridiculous mark-up, not only was I exacerbating my asthma, but I didn’t have any excuse for it. I smoked because I smoked. I smoked because it was a habit and addiction, but that is no reason to smoke. Once I realized that I wanted to quit, truly wanted to end my reliance on nicotine, I was able to finally kick that habit to the curb.

Some of the benefits of not smoking for me have featured more largely than I had anticipated they would.

  • I can wear nice perfume. As a smoker, I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone if I tried to cover up the smell on my clothes with body sprays, and if I spent any considerable amount of money on a scent, it was money down the drain. Non smokers smell cigarette smoke, plain and simple, and you can’t mask it.
  • My skin is better. I don’t just mean that it’s clearer (it is!) but that the color, the texture, the elasticity of my skin has improved markedly in the last few weeks. I’ll take this over a nic hit any day of the week!
  • Sinuses. Nuff said, eh? Less congestion, less swelling, and less SNOT.
  • Food tastes awesome. I was missing out on so much!
  • Sense of smell is HERE. Which isn’t always a good thing. People – you stink. I’m not saying you have to shower daily. Remember what I said about not masking the scent of cigarette smoke with perfume? You can’t hide your rancid body odor with perfume, either! Take a washrag to your pits.
  • I’m presenting a positive, non-smoking image to my nephews. And that’s what matters most, isn’t it?
Non smokers for life!

My grandfather quit smoking cold turkey – & I hope that Joey & Johnny never pick it up!

Even though I get the occasional desire for a cigarette, I wouldn’t call it a craving, and I’m proud of myself for staying nicotine free. Have any of you quit smoking?? What about it was the most difficult thing? And who all went BACK to smoking years after they’d quit – I’ve heard of people being quit for 5 or 6 years and starting up again. Have you seen or experienced that??

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3 thoughts on “Why did I smoke? Why did I quit? Can I make it?

  1. That is awesome! I’m so happy for you. 🙂

    Trey quit cold turkey two years ago. He was pretty unbearable for about two weeks.

  2. Well done. I used to smoke 60-a-day. Yep, I was all in. This was around 20 years ago. I would buy a packet on my way into work, at 4am. I’d have them smoked by lunchtime. I would then buy another packet, and smoke 4 or 5 of those per hour. By the time I finished work at 8ish, I’d need to buy another packet, which I would smoke during my hour long commute home, and by the time I went to bed at 11.

    I was convinced that if the cancer didn’t kill me, the falling asleep at the wheel would have.

    I quit by buying a large pack containing 50 packets of cigarettes, which cost me – back then – around the equivalent of $250, and I smoked one and threw the rest away in the garbage. Believe me, on a small market commercial radio salary, I couldn’t afford to do that.

    It worked. I knew that if I took so much as another puff, I would have wasted all that money.

    Despite a small hiccup back in 2005 when I went through a messy divorce, I haven’t smoked ever since.

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